Thursday, November 24, 2011

A Polyamorous Wedding

People often ask me what kind of ceremony would be appropriate for two people who are both polyamorous. Here is the ceremony that Pinkdom, Clonetwin, and I wrote for our wedding. We stripped out all of that "forsaking all others" crap, but did manage to include a Bible verse. Feel free to modify, use, and enjoy as you see fit.

Celebrant

We are here to celebrate the joining of Citi Kittie and Pinkdom. Their marriage is a symbol of the continuation of community and the formation of their own community within the larger community of their friends and families.

Love is a friendship that has caught fire.
It is quiet understanding,
mutual confidence,
sharing and forgiving.
It is loyalty through good and bad.
It settles for less than perfection,
and makes allowances for human weakness.
Love is content with the present.
It hopes for the future and it doesn't brood over the past.
It's the day-in and day-out chronicle of irritations, problems, compromises,
small disappointments, big victories, and working toward common goals.

Reading from 1 Corinthians Chapter 13:4 -7

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels,
But have not love,
I am nothing more than a loud gong
Or a noisy cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy,
And understand all mysteries,
And have all knowledge,
And a faith that can move mountains,
But have not love,
I am nothing.
Love is patient
Love is kind.
Love is never jealous, boastful, proud or rude.
Love is never selfish, resentful, or quick-tempered.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love always protects.
Love always trusts.
Loves always hopes.
Love never gives up.
Love never fails.
And love never ends.
Faith, hope, and love
Abide in these three.
But the greatest of these
Is love.

Back to celebrant

Using the words of Kahlil Gilbran I charge you to:
Love one another, but make not a bond of love
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous but let each one of you be alone
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

I, Citi Kittie, take you as my partner, my constant friend, and my love, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, and to travel with you on your journey of discovery.

Here, in the presence of family and friends, I promise to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

I, Pinkdom, take you as my partner, my constant friend, and my love, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, and to travel with you on your journey of discovery.

Here, in the presence of family and friends, I promise to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

Exchange of the rings:

The circle has always been regarded as a symbol of eternity. Without beginning and without end it stands outside time. Your love also is eternal with no beginning or end. These rings are the reflection of their love and their respect for one another and reflects to others the vows they have already taken.

Citi Kittie says: Pinkdom with this ring, I pledge my love to you for all the days of my life.

Pinkdom says: Citi Kittie with this ring, I pledge my love to you for all the days of my life.

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.
May you always need one another - not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete; the valley does not make the mountain less, but more; and the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with you and you.

May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you entice one another, but not compel one another.
May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another.
May you succeed in all important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces.
May you look for things to praise, often say, "I love you!" and take no notice of small faults.
If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back.
May you enter into the mystery which is the awareness of one another's presence - no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities.
May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.
May you have love, and may you find it loving one another!
You may kiss each other.


May I present to you, the married couple, Citi Kittie and Pinkdom.