Throat Fucking

I seem to be getting dirtier and dirtier. I recently realized I really like sex when it gets messy. Very messy. Like, the kind of messy you get from throat fucking.

A couple weeks back I was at a play party, for the first time in months. Unfortunately, there wasn't much play going on.

It was a going away party for one of the honorary members of our triad. He's moving out to the west coast in a couple weeks. He was a real integral member of the local BDSM community. He will be sorely missed.

He rented a BDSM club for the party so we had the run of the place. The first time I'd been there was a year earlier when he rented it for his birthday. At that party he had had several party games, one of which was a contest to see who could deep throat the deepest.

I love taking things deep in my throat, and kind of get off on the gag reflex. So I thought I'd be a contender. But he used a night club and really, that's way to fat for me, and most of us.

I lost to a girl who could take over 10 inches. Which is quite impressive.

Later, another girl was using a dildo on her own throat, to see how deep she could take it. She was using a double-ended dildo and asked if I wanted to try it. Of course I said yes. She started fucking my face with the dildo. First just to the back of my mouth, but then deeper. I started gagging a lot, and shaking all over from it. Pretty soon I had to time my breathing to her thrusts.

We were sitting on a spanking bench in the middle of the club and soon everyone was watching. I didn't notice because I was staring at the ceiling, my mouth wide open, her dildo deep in me. She was calling me names and telling me to take it even deeper for her. I was gagging and groaning and begging for more.

Each time she pulled the dildo out more of my own spit dripped on my chin. After a while spit was dripping off me. She scooped it up and slapped my face with it, rubbing it on my cheeks. She called me a dirty girl as she rubbed it on my neck. I was still shaking and trembling, not quite believing what was happening. I knew I liked to gag, but I'd never produced so much spit, never shaken so much, never wanted so much more.

Once more she plunged the dildo down my throat and once more I gagged and choked. Then I felt a bit of my stomach come up. Wow. That was really disgusting and dirty and kind of hot. When she pulled the dildo out again I whispered, "I want to puke for you." Her eyes lit up and she rammed her hand to the back of my throat.

Her fingers rubbed around at the base of my tongue. I was jerking and straining, gagging very time her fingers moved in me. The feeling was overwhelming; it was all I could think of, all I was aware of. The world was her fingers and my throat.

Though a part of me was thinking, "Am I really doing this? Am I really opening my mouth in a room full of people so a girl can push her fingers into my throat? Am I really begging to puke for her? What does that even mean, to puke 'for her'? Is that something she wants me to beg for? And why would I even want such a thing? How disgusting am I?"

She kept this up for a while, but I never came close to puking again. I guess I'm just too good at gagging.

Eventually she stopped and I noticed all the people, sitting in a circle around us. Humiliating and hot! We went into the bathroom to clean up, where she told me how much she enjoyed it, but she wouldn't kiss me because my face was so messy and dirty.

I still find it kind of disgusting and disturbing, but I'm also watching a lot of spitting videos now. It's too much of a turn on to avoid.

Online Slavery Article

Eden Fantasys just posted another article of mine. This one is about my experiences as an online slave.

"I ended up the collared pet of a woman I never met, never talked to on the phone, saw on webcam only a handful of times, but communicated with almost daily. It’s not easy turning your life over to another person, and maybe not all that healthy. But its allure was as strong as any drug and I just couldn’t resist."

Read the rest here:

http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sex/online-bdsm-0113101/

They Still Kill Trans People, Don't They

Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. A day set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. It's sad that we have to have a day like this each year but we do.

Because they still kill trans people.

In my blog, and in my life, I try to celebrate gender variance. I love going on cam dressed up cute, in whatever gender presentation strikes my fancy that day. But I never show my face.

Because they still kill trans people.

I love going out to parties and conventions where I feel free, and safe, to present in any way I choose. I love flirting and chatting. People tell me I even have a different walk when I'm at an event. Which surprises me because I don't try to walk any different. At an event, the way I present just feels so "right." But before I leave I always change back into my "street" clothes.

Because they still kill trans people.

I'm beginning to realize I'd be a lot happier if I could present to the world who I really am. I'm sure I'd have a lot less anxiety and depression if I could dress as my actual gender. I'd feel so much more authentic and real if people saw me as my true gender (the gender I was born with, even if people thought I was a different gender). It's who I really am. But I don't dare show them.

Because they still kill trans people.

Don't worry, I have plenty of happy, flirty, sexy posts still to come. But once a year we all need to stop. And remember.

Because they still kill trans people.


There are many events around the country, and around the world. I hope you'll attend one. [http://www.transgenderdor.org/]

New Article on Polyamory

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No Apologies

In the summer of 1999 I seemingly had it all. I'd spent the previous 13 years playing by society's rules and was reaping its rewards. I was in a monogamous relationship. I was heteronormative and when my wife and I had sex it was bland, vanilla sex. I'd spent most of our relationship being a good husband, following her around the country for her career, and doing whatever I could to keep our relationships together. In fact, my wife and I had just put a down payment on a house in the suburbs, that's how mainstream I was.

Unfortunately, we were both miserable.

Years of trying to be someone I wasn't had taken its toll. I hated being straight and never flirting with anyone. I hated being traditionally male. I hated my job and I hated where I lived. And my wife was depressed, had anger issues, and fibromyalgia.

So ten years ago I quit my job, got divorced, and moved back to the East Coast. And started working on building a new life. A life where I present as the gender I was born to be and have the types of relationships that are right for me.

It's been a lot of hard work and I've had several missteps. I've learned a lot about ethical non-monogamy and the kinds of rules you need to have to stay healthy emotionally and physically. But they aren't the same rules that society told me to have.

Last month I moved in with my wife and our girlfriend. I also have a boyfriend and several play partners. And my partners have other partners. I no longer present as traditionally male, and often present as fairly femme. When I have sex it's the naughty, dirty, kinky kind that gets my partners and I off.

Many people tell me that all of this is doomed to fail. That this type of lifestyle, these kinds of relationships, this kind of gender presentation doesn't work out. That I'll end up alone and unloved.

Well you know what, I've tried it society's way and it didn't work out so well. There are no guarantees in this life. But at least this way, if I fail I'll know I failed on my own terms.

Now, I'm not hurting anyone. I'm not lying to anyone. I'm not manipulating anyone into doing things they don't want to do. I'm not breaking any laws. I'm treating everyone ethically and morally.

However, I may be making a few people uncomfortable by living my life the way I want. But for that have no apologies.

Citi Kittie is Currently on Summer Vacation

There will be no updates for a while yet. The vanilla world has swelled up and crushed this little kitty. Family vacation, looking for a new place to live, moving, living with in-laws, moving into a new place, and now getting ready for my Miss to join my Mistress and I so we can all live together.

But this Kitty will return this fall.

I'll be living with both my Mistress and my Miss, so I'm sure there will be lots to update you on.

And we are all headed to Dark Odyssey Summer Camp, where this kitty will get up to no good, I'm sure.

I hope you're all having a great summer. See you this fall!

New Threesome Position

This kitty loves threesomes. I think it's the optimum number for sex. People tend to couple up once you have more than three. So more often than not a foursome is really 2 twosomes, and a fivesome is 1 twosome and 1 threesome, and so on and etc.

But with a threesome you can really focus on each other, find lots of positions to access each other, and have a lot of fun.

A month or so ago I attended a great class on having threesomes, taught by Reid Mihalko. It covered starting a threesome, emotional considerations, and various positions. I even helped demonstrate some positions. (Unfortunately we were all clothed, but it's a fun way to meet new people.)

Reid teaches a lot of classes and has a great website you might want to check out, at reidmihalko . com.

So recently I was at a play party and discovered a new position for threesomes.

My Mistress had strapped on a cock and was offering free rides. She got warmed up having a hot guy suck her cock. I warmed up her first ridee by giving her a hand job. Actually, the warm up was a threesome as well. Her husband was sitting and she was sitting between his legs. He was holding her from behind while I stood in front of them, kissing and rubbing her.

We were at this amazing private dungeon, in the wet room. The wet room was covered floor to ceiling in tile, had several shower nozzles, a drain in the floor, and a large bench that ran the length of one side of the room.

My Mistress decided to lay down on the bench to let her friend ride her cock. But the bench was all tile, so not that comfy for laying on. I jumped on the bench, leaned my back to the wall, and suggested my Mistress to lean on me for cushion.

I thought she would lean her back against my chest, in a reclining sitting position. Instead, she lay down with her head in my lap. Which meant the back of her head was resting on my cock. It was quite pleasant to have her head resting on me like that.

But then her friend mounted my Mistress's cock and started fucking her. As she did that, all the engery she was fucking into my Mistress was riding through her body and transmitting into my cock. Wow.

I could feel each thrust and movement right on my cock. It wasn't enough to get me off, but it was enough to keep me aroused and wanting more.

Her friend looked so hot, squatting over my Mistress and riding her. She started moaning. She started sweating, she kept going.

She rode her for a while in a sitting up position and then she'd lean down and kiss my Mistress. While they were making out their heads were both in my lap, rolling around over my cock.

Again, wow. My cock was throbbing in my panties as they rolled back and forth over me. Both of them moaning and sweating and thrusting for more. And more. And more. I have no idea how many orgasms they had. From their expressions it seemed like a lot.

It seemed to go on for hours. I knew I wouldn't cum from the stimulation and I think I enjoyed knowing that as well. It was a nice denial. I was helping the two of them get off and knew I wouldn't get release. But I was also absorbing all that sexual energy, sucking it all up.

Finally my Mistress's friend had had enough and she dismounted. She needed her husband to help her as she couldn't really stand. We all lay on the bench cuddling, and recovering, for a while.

What an awesome scene. And awesome people. And an awesome postion. I'll be doing that one again!