Every year Butchy reflects on what he is thankful for. He does this on a day he likes to call the Day for Giving Thanks. He hopes that, if he keeps doing this every year, it will eventually catch on.
This year Butchy is thankful most of all for submissives. Without submissives giving themselves to Butchy, where would Butchy be? Subless, that's where. Which is not a great place to be.
Next Butchy is thankful for dominants. Even though there are no dominants as dominant as Butchy, Butchy is still thankful they exist because Butchy can't be there for all the submissives in the world. As great as Butchy is, he does have limits of time and space.
Butchy is also thankful for his mom, for giving birth to him so many years ago. And then feeding him and keeping him safe and dry until he could assume his rightful place dominating her and the rest of his family. As the saying goes, from tiny acorns, great oak trees do go. As hard as it is be to believe, Butchy was once a tiny acorn in his mother's womb.
And finally, Butchy is not grateful to you, his readers. Read or don't read, it is all the same to Butchy. With the Internets he doesn't need to have an audience to continue. Unlike that time he was a radio host and things like "ratings" mattered. Now Butchy can enjoy the pure experience of expressing his truth, without having to be beholden to his readers.
Butchy is beholden to no one, thank you very much.
Note: Oh my. Um, well, the holidays can sometimes put Butchy in a bit of a mood. But all of us here at Little Kitty in the Big City are very thankful for all of our readers. Even if we don't have any.
- Citi Kittie
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
They Still Kill Trans People, Don't They
Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. A day set aside to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. It's sad that we have to have a day like this each year but we do.
Because they still kill trans people.
In my blog, and in my life, I try to celebrate gender variance. I love going on cam dressed up cute, in whatever gender presentation strikes my fancy that day. But I never show my face.
Because they still kill trans people.
I love going out to parties and conventions where I feel free, and safe, to present in any way I choose. I love flirting and chatting. People tell me I even have a different walk when I'm at an event. Which surprises me because I don't try to walk any different. At an event, the way I present just feels so "right." But before I leave I always change back into my "street" clothes.
Because they still kill trans people.
I'm beginning to realize I'd be a lot happier if I could present to the world who I really am. I'm sure I'd have a lot less anxiety and depression if I could dress as my actual gender. I'd feel so much more authentic and real if people saw me as my true gender (the gender I was born with, even if people thought I was a different gender). It's who I really am. But I don't dare show them.
Because they still kill trans people.
Don't worry, I have plenty of happy, flirty, sexy posts still to come. But once a year we all need to stop. And remember.
Because they still kill trans people.
There are many events around the country, and around the world. I hope you'll attend one. [http://www.transgenderdor.org/]
Because they still kill trans people.
In my blog, and in my life, I try to celebrate gender variance. I love going on cam dressed up cute, in whatever gender presentation strikes my fancy that day. But I never show my face.
Because they still kill trans people.
I love going out to parties and conventions where I feel free, and safe, to present in any way I choose. I love flirting and chatting. People tell me I even have a different walk when I'm at an event. Which surprises me because I don't try to walk any different. At an event, the way I present just feels so "right." But before I leave I always change back into my "street" clothes.
Because they still kill trans people.
I'm beginning to realize I'd be a lot happier if I could present to the world who I really am. I'm sure I'd have a lot less anxiety and depression if I could dress as my actual gender. I'd feel so much more authentic and real if people saw me as my true gender (the gender I was born with, even if people thought I was a different gender). It's who I really am. But I don't dare show them.
Because they still kill trans people.
Don't worry, I have plenty of happy, flirty, sexy posts still to come. But once a year we all need to stop. And remember.
Because they still kill trans people.
There are many events around the country, and around the world. I hope you'll attend one. [http://www.transgenderdor.org/]
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Butchy McTopperson Answers: Miss Manners
Butchy is back with more advice, this time answering letters to Miss Manners. I'd like to remind you that Butchy's advice is for entertainment purposes only. We accept no responsibility for anyone who actually tries his advice.
Also, per new FTC rules, we have not received any money, or any permission, for giving out this advice. Luckily, we have yet to receive any lawsuits either.
-- Citi Kittie
Dear Miss Manners,
I have discovered that I have fallen into the habit of over-apologizing. I seek always to be polite and to keep my social interactions pleasant and smooth, but I have become quick to drop an "I'm sorry" for things that are clearly not my fault or have not inconvenienced anyone. For example, someone stepping on my foot or dropping my own handbag several feet away from any passersby.
I have been trying to substitute "Excuse me" as much as possible, but could you please suggest other things I may say to minimize my apologies? I am beginning to feel that the sheer excess is starting to diminish my sincerity, and that would make me truly . . . sorry.
Dear Sorry,
There are two kinds of people in the world: dominants and submissives. You, my dear Sorry, are a submissive. You'll never give up saying you're sorry because you truly are sorry. And even Butchy can't change your soul (the best he can do it crush it). While Butchy appreciates all submissives, you can't go around subbing to everyone indiscriminately, it's unseemly. And not everyone deserves to be subbed to; dominance has to be earned, just like respect or addressing someone by their first name.
It's also obvious you are not getting your submissive needs met from your current love-partner. In addition to saying sorry all the time, you are probably sexually unfulfilled. You need to find a love-partner who will dominate you in the manner you so desperately need. This will also give you more fulfilling orgasms.
A good dominant will get you apologizing all the time, for everything from your poor cooking skills to clumsy love-making abilities to your very existence. Once this begins to happen you'll be much less likely to apologize to random people who don't appreciate your inner lacking.
Enjoy,
Butchy
Dear Miss Manners,
My problem is with dear friends of ours. The husbands know each other since before kindergarten, and the four of us have been close for years.
This couple is basically middle class. However, they spend like they're very wealthy (fancy car, expensive home improvements, extravagant vacations). Yet she is always complaining they have no money for these things, but "you get what you pay for" is their mantra.
My husband and I have always had houses, cars and vacations but are more frugal. Why am I so jealous? Help!
Dear Help,
You're jealous because your friends have nicer stuff than you. You'd like to have really nice stuff but you're careful with your money. This is better for you in the long run, but it means you have to suffer while your friends get to play. Butchy learned this lesson when his mom told him the story of the ant and the grasshopper.
In Aesop's tale the ants spend the summer collecting nuts (or whatever ants eat) while the grasshoppers go to circuit parties. (You'll probably need to Google that, Butchy is guessing you don't get out much.) When winter comes the ants have plenty to eat and the grasshoppers starve to death. Butchy appreciates the way the ants are able to triumph over the grasshoppers and watch them slowly die. However, we both know that your friends will just keep borrowing more money. When they declare bankruptcy the government will bail them out with welfare checks or massive tax cuts (depending on who wins the next election). So you can't rely on time and the government to destroy them.
Instead, keep up your frugal ways but use your friends' stuff. Properly dominating them will allow you to enjoy all their creature comforts with none of the bills. People this materialistic are usually insecure, so start by subtly implying their stuff isn't nice enough. They'll want to prove it is and let you use it.
Also, consider driving a wedge between them. If they are constantly bickering they'll enjoy spending time with you and your husband more than with each other. This could get them to take you on their fabulous vacations.
Enjoy,
Butchy
Also, per new FTC rules, we have not received any money, or any permission, for giving out this advice. Luckily, we have yet to receive any lawsuits either.
-- Citi Kittie
Dear Miss Manners,
I have discovered that I have fallen into the habit of over-apologizing. I seek always to be polite and to keep my social interactions pleasant and smooth, but I have become quick to drop an "I'm sorry" for things that are clearly not my fault or have not inconvenienced anyone. For example, someone stepping on my foot or dropping my own handbag several feet away from any passersby.
I have been trying to substitute "Excuse me" as much as possible, but could you please suggest other things I may say to minimize my apologies? I am beginning to feel that the sheer excess is starting to diminish my sincerity, and that would make me truly . . . sorry.
Dear Sorry,
There are two kinds of people in the world: dominants and submissives. You, my dear Sorry, are a submissive. You'll never give up saying you're sorry because you truly are sorry. And even Butchy can't change your soul (the best he can do it crush it). While Butchy appreciates all submissives, you can't go around subbing to everyone indiscriminately, it's unseemly. And not everyone deserves to be subbed to; dominance has to be earned, just like respect or addressing someone by their first name.
It's also obvious you are not getting your submissive needs met from your current love-partner. In addition to saying sorry all the time, you are probably sexually unfulfilled. You need to find a love-partner who will dominate you in the manner you so desperately need. This will also give you more fulfilling orgasms.
A good dominant will get you apologizing all the time, for everything from your poor cooking skills to clumsy love-making abilities to your very existence. Once this begins to happen you'll be much less likely to apologize to random people who don't appreciate your inner lacking.
Enjoy,
Butchy
Dear Miss Manners,
My problem is with dear friends of ours. The husbands know each other since before kindergarten, and the four of us have been close for years.
This couple is basically middle class. However, they spend like they're very wealthy (fancy car, expensive home improvements, extravagant vacations). Yet she is always complaining they have no money for these things, but "you get what you pay for" is their mantra.
My husband and I have always had houses, cars and vacations but are more frugal. Why am I so jealous? Help!
Dear Help,
You're jealous because your friends have nicer stuff than you. You'd like to have really nice stuff but you're careful with your money. This is better for you in the long run, but it means you have to suffer while your friends get to play. Butchy learned this lesson when his mom told him the story of the ant and the grasshopper.
In Aesop's tale the ants spend the summer collecting nuts (or whatever ants eat) while the grasshoppers go to circuit parties. (You'll probably need to Google that, Butchy is guessing you don't get out much.) When winter comes the ants have plenty to eat and the grasshoppers starve to death. Butchy appreciates the way the ants are able to triumph over the grasshoppers and watch them slowly die. However, we both know that your friends will just keep borrowing more money. When they declare bankruptcy the government will bail them out with welfare checks or massive tax cuts (depending on who wins the next election). So you can't rely on time and the government to destroy them.
Instead, keep up your frugal ways but use your friends' stuff. Properly dominating them will allow you to enjoy all their creature comforts with none of the bills. People this materialistic are usually insecure, so start by subtly implying their stuff isn't nice enough. They'll want to prove it is and let you use it.
Also, consider driving a wedge between them. If they are constantly bickering they'll enjoy spending time with you and your husband more than with each other. This could get them to take you on their fabulous vacations.
Enjoy,
Butchy
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Butchy McTopperson Answers: Dear Abby
Please join me in welcoming our newest contributor, Butchy McTopperson. Butchy has been a dominant all his life. He started in the womb, manipulating his mom's diet via morning sickness. He has agreed to share his wisdom with all of you.
Since no one actually writes us letters, Butchy will be answering letters to other advice columnists. In this post Butchy answers letters to Dear Abby.
-- Citi Kittie
Dear Abby,
I have strong feelings about the word love. I use it only when I truly mean it. My husband's family, however, bandies it about as a common word.
How does one respond when someone says "I love you" when you know he or she doesn't mean it and is only saying it as a pleasantry? I hate saying it back to someone I don't really love. I feel the phrase should be reserved only when you are saying it from the heart. Any advice on what I should say, if anything at all?
-- Keeping Mum in Mississippi
Dear Mum,
As a dominant, your primary question is never, "What should I say?" but, "How do I best dominate my inlaws?"
Your narrow usage of love is by no means universal; Webster's has many definitions (I'm guessing, I didn't actually look it up because no mere dictionary can tell Butchy what a word means). However, that does not mean that you should let your pushy husband's family try and dictate how you use language.
If you don't love your inlaws, tell them. Just don't be a bitch about it. Let them know in a kind and sensitive manner that you lack any feelings of affection or emotional attachment for them. If they love your husband, and your letter indicates they do (and everyone else), they will want to win your affection. This will put you in a very powerful position.
Once they start trying to win you over it will be very easy for you to manipulate and dominate them.
Enjoy,
Butchy
Dear Abby,
After our father's death last year, my brother, "Rex," and I moved in with our mother to help her out emotionally and financially. Rex and I have always respected each other's privacy and have always supported each other.
Rex has put a lock on his door, which makes Mom and me feel as if he doesn't trust us enough to respect his privacy. We have never invaded his space or given him cause not to trust us. He is a caring, considerate person, financially stable, socially active, and helps Mom out with any repairs needed around the house. I love him dearly, but I am puzzled that he feels he needs to lock his room as if we are not trustworthy.
My feelings are hurt. Our family has never had trust issues before. What do you think of his behavior, and am I being overly sensitive?
-- Open-Door Sis in Mississippi
Dear Door,
You claim to respect your brother's privacy but your question indicates that you do not. Your brother's locked door is a very firm boundary and it bothers you. Also, by referring to him with a name commonly associated with a dog it is clear you see him as sub-human. These are all very good signs in a budding dominant.
If you hope to truly dominate him, you need to get that lock off his door.
Use your mom as an ally in your efforts. Continue your late-night gossiping about how your brother doesn't trust or respect either of you. You don't need to tell your mom what to do with this information; she will find her own way to let her displeasure be known. Moms are experts at this. Eventually he'll remove the lock to please his mom.
It is obvious that your brother has locked his door so he can look at porn and jerk off. Once the lock comes off his insecurity about jerking off will increase. He may jerk off less or do it more furtively or later at night. Make sure to walk in on him at all hours, making it even harder for him to know when it's safe to get off. This will stress him out and unbalance him, making it easier for you and your mom to manipulate and dominate him.
Enjoy,
Butchy
Since no one actually writes us letters, Butchy will be answering letters to other advice columnists. In this post Butchy answers letters to Dear Abby.
-- Citi Kittie
Dear Abby,
I have strong feelings about the word love. I use it only when I truly mean it. My husband's family, however, bandies it about as a common word.
How does one respond when someone says "I love you" when you know he or she doesn't mean it and is only saying it as a pleasantry? I hate saying it back to someone I don't really love. I feel the phrase should be reserved only when you are saying it from the heart. Any advice on what I should say, if anything at all?
-- Keeping Mum in Mississippi
Dear Mum,
As a dominant, your primary question is never, "What should I say?" but, "How do I best dominate my inlaws?"
Your narrow usage of love is by no means universal; Webster's has many definitions (I'm guessing, I didn't actually look it up because no mere dictionary can tell Butchy what a word means). However, that does not mean that you should let your pushy husband's family try and dictate how you use language.
If you don't love your inlaws, tell them. Just don't be a bitch about it. Let them know in a kind and sensitive manner that you lack any feelings of affection or emotional attachment for them. If they love your husband, and your letter indicates they do (and everyone else), they will want to win your affection. This will put you in a very powerful position.
Once they start trying to win you over it will be very easy for you to manipulate and dominate them.
Enjoy,
Butchy
Dear Abby,
After our father's death last year, my brother, "Rex," and I moved in with our mother to help her out emotionally and financially. Rex and I have always respected each other's privacy and have always supported each other.
Rex has put a lock on his door, which makes Mom and me feel as if he doesn't trust us enough to respect his privacy. We have never invaded his space or given him cause not to trust us. He is a caring, considerate person, financially stable, socially active, and helps Mom out with any repairs needed around the house. I love him dearly, but I am puzzled that he feels he needs to lock his room as if we are not trustworthy.
My feelings are hurt. Our family has never had trust issues before. What do you think of his behavior, and am I being overly sensitive?
-- Open-Door Sis in Mississippi
Dear Door,
You claim to respect your brother's privacy but your question indicates that you do not. Your brother's locked door is a very firm boundary and it bothers you. Also, by referring to him with a name commonly associated with a dog it is clear you see him as sub-human. These are all very good signs in a budding dominant.
If you hope to truly dominate him, you need to get that lock off his door.
Use your mom as an ally in your efforts. Continue your late-night gossiping about how your brother doesn't trust or respect either of you. You don't need to tell your mom what to do with this information; she will find her own way to let her displeasure be known. Moms are experts at this. Eventually he'll remove the lock to please his mom.
It is obvious that your brother has locked his door so he can look at porn and jerk off. Once the lock comes off his insecurity about jerking off will increase. He may jerk off less or do it more furtively or later at night. Make sure to walk in on him at all hours, making it even harder for him to know when it's safe to get off. This will stress him out and unbalance him, making it easier for you and your mom to manipulate and dominate him.
Enjoy,
Butchy
Sunday, November 1, 2009
New Article on Polyamory
A new article by your friendly kitty is up at EdenFantasys.com. It's called the
The Practicality of Polyamory and it's all about my experiences trying to explain my relationships to people.
http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sexual-health/coming-out-poly-100792/
I hope you enjoy it.
The Practicality of Polyamory and it's all about my experiences trying to explain my relationships to people.
http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sexual-health/coming-out-poly-100792/
I hope you enjoy it.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
No Apologies
In the summer of 1999 I seemingly had it all. I'd spent the previous 13 years playing by society's rules and was reaping its rewards. I was in a monogamous relationship. I was heteronormative and when my wife and I had sex it was bland, vanilla sex. I'd spent most of our relationship being a good husband, following her around the country for her career, and doing whatever I could to keep our relationships together. In fact, my wife and I had just put a down payment on a house in the suburbs, that's how mainstream I was.
Unfortunately, we were both miserable.
Years of trying to be someone I wasn't had taken its toll. I hated being straight and never flirting with anyone. I hated being traditionally male. I hated my job and I hated where I lived. And my wife was depressed, had anger issues, and fibromyalgia.
So ten years ago I quit my job, got divorced, and moved back to the East Coast. And started working on building a new life. A life where I present as the gender I was born to be and have the types of relationships that are right for me.
It's been a lot of hard work and I've had several missteps. I've learned a lot about ethical non-monogamy and the kinds of rules you need to have to stay healthy emotionally and physically. But they aren't the same rules that society told me to have.
Last month I moved in with my wife and our girlfriend. I also have a boyfriend and several play partners. And my partners have other partners. I no longer present as traditionally male, and often present as fairly femme. When I have sex it's the naughty, dirty, kinky kind that gets my partners and I off.
Many people tell me that all of this is doomed to fail. That this type of lifestyle, these kinds of relationships, this kind of gender presentation doesn't work out. That I'll end up alone and unloved.
Well you know what, I've tried it society's way and it didn't work out so well. There are no guarantees in this life. But at least this way, if I fail I'll know I failed on my own terms.
Now, I'm not hurting anyone. I'm not lying to anyone. I'm not manipulating anyone into doing things they don't want to do. I'm not breaking any laws. I'm treating everyone ethically and morally.
However, I may be making a few people uncomfortable by living my life the way I want. But for that have no apologies.
Unfortunately, we were both miserable.
Years of trying to be someone I wasn't had taken its toll. I hated being straight and never flirting with anyone. I hated being traditionally male. I hated my job and I hated where I lived. And my wife was depressed, had anger issues, and fibromyalgia.
So ten years ago I quit my job, got divorced, and moved back to the East Coast. And started working on building a new life. A life where I present as the gender I was born to be and have the types of relationships that are right for me.
It's been a lot of hard work and I've had several missteps. I've learned a lot about ethical non-monogamy and the kinds of rules you need to have to stay healthy emotionally and physically. But they aren't the same rules that society told me to have.
Last month I moved in with my wife and our girlfriend. I also have a boyfriend and several play partners. And my partners have other partners. I no longer present as traditionally male, and often present as fairly femme. When I have sex it's the naughty, dirty, kinky kind that gets my partners and I off.
Many people tell me that all of this is doomed to fail. That this type of lifestyle, these kinds of relationships, this kind of gender presentation doesn't work out. That I'll end up alone and unloved.
Well you know what, I've tried it society's way and it didn't work out so well. There are no guarantees in this life. But at least this way, if I fail I'll know I failed on my own terms.
Now, I'm not hurting anyone. I'm not lying to anyone. I'm not manipulating anyone into doing things they don't want to do. I'm not breaking any laws. I'm treating everyone ethically and morally.
However, I may be making a few people uncomfortable by living my life the way I want. But for that have no apologies.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Citi Kittie is Currently on Summer Vacation
There will be no updates for a while yet. The vanilla world has swelled up and crushed this little kitty. Family vacation, looking for a new place to live, moving, living with in-laws, moving into a new place, and now getting ready for my Miss to join my Mistress and I so we can all live together.
But this Kitty will return this fall.
I'll be living with both my Mistress and my Miss, so I'm sure there will be lots to update you on.
And we are all headed to Dark Odyssey Summer Camp, where this kitty will get up to no good, I'm sure.
I hope you're all having a great summer. See you this fall!
But this Kitty will return this fall.
I'll be living with both my Mistress and my Miss, so I'm sure there will be lots to update you on.
And we are all headed to Dark Odyssey Summer Camp, where this kitty will get up to no good, I'm sure.
I hope you're all having a great summer. See you this fall!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
