Butchy McTopperson Answers: Dear Abby

Please join me in welcoming our newest contributor, Butchy McTopperson. Butchy has been a dominant all his life. He started in the womb, manipulating his mom's diet via morning sickness. He has agreed to share his wisdom with all of you.

Since no one actually writes us letters, Butchy will be answering letters to other advice columnists. In this post Butchy answers letters to Dear Abby.

-- Citi Kittie

Dear Abby,

I have strong feelings about the word love. I use it only when I truly mean it. My husband's family, however, bandies it about as a common word.

How does one respond when someone says "I love you" when you know he or she doesn't mean it and is only saying it as a pleasantry? I hate saying it back to someone I don't really love. I feel the phrase should be reserved only when you are saying it from the heart. Any advice on what I should say, if anything at all?

-- Keeping Mum in Mississippi

Dear Mum,

As a dominant, your primary question is never, "What should I say?" but, "How do I best dominate my inlaws?"

Your narrow usage of love is by no means universal; Webster's has many definitions (I'm guessing, I didn't actually look it up because no mere dictionary can tell Butchy what a word means). However, that does not mean that you should let your pushy husband's family try and dictate how you use language.

If you don't love your inlaws, tell them. Just don't be a bitch about it. Let them know in a kind and sensitive manner that you lack any feelings of affection or emotional attachment for them. If they love your husband, and your letter indicates they do (and everyone else), they will want to win your affection. This will put you in a very powerful position.

Once they start trying to win you over it will be very easy for you to manipulate and dominate them.

Enjoy,

Butchy


Dear Abby,

After our father's death last year, my brother, "Rex," and I moved in with our mother to help her out emotionally and financially. Rex and I have always respected each other's privacy and have always supported each other.

Rex has put a lock on his door, which makes Mom and me feel as if he doesn't trust us enough to respect his privacy. We have never invaded his space or given him cause not to trust us. He is a caring, considerate person, financially stable, socially active, and helps Mom out with any repairs needed around the house. I love him dearly, but I am puzzled that he feels he needs to lock his room as if we are not trustworthy.

My feelings are hurt. Our family has never had trust issues before. What do you think of his behavior, and am I being overly sensitive?

-- Open-Door Sis in Mississippi

Dear Door,

You claim to respect your brother's privacy but your question indicates that you do not. Your brother's locked door is a very firm boundary and it bothers you. Also, by referring to him with a name commonly associated with a dog it is clear you see him as sub-human. These are all very good signs in a budding dominant.

If you hope to truly dominate him, you need to get that lock off his door.

Use your mom as an ally in your efforts. Continue your late-night gossiping about how your brother doesn't trust or respect either of you. You don't need to tell your mom what to do with this information; she will find her own way to let her displeasure be known. Moms are experts at this. Eventually he'll remove the lock to please his mom.

It is obvious that your brother has locked his door so he can look at porn and jerk off. Once the lock comes off his insecurity about jerking off will increase. He may jerk off less or do it more furtively or later at night. Make sure to walk in on him at all hours, making it even harder for him to know when it's safe to get off. This will stress him out and unbalance him, making it easier for you and your mom to manipulate and dominate him.

Enjoy,

Butchy

New Article on Polyamory

A new article by your friendly kitty is up at EdenFantasys.com. It's called the
The Practicality of Polyamory and it's all about my experiences trying to explain my relationships to people.

http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexis/sexual-health/coming-out-poly-100792/

I hope you enjoy it.

No Apologies

In the summer of 1999 I seemingly had it all. I'd spent the previous 13 years playing by society's rules and was reaping its rewards. I was in a monogamous relationship. I was heteronormative and when my wife and I had sex it was bland, vanilla sex. I'd spent most of our relationship being a good husband, following her around the country for her career, and doing whatever I could to keep our relationships together. In fact, my wife and I had just put a down payment on a house in the suburbs, that's how mainstream I was.

Unfortunately, we were both miserable.

Years of trying to be someone I wasn't had taken its toll. I hated being straight and never flirting with anyone. I hated being traditionally male. I hated my job and I hated where I lived. And my wife was depressed, had anger issues, and fibromyalgia.

So ten years ago I quit my job, got divorced, and moved back to the East Coast. And started working on building a new life. A life where I present as the gender I was born to be and have the types of relationships that are right for me.

It's been a lot of hard work and I've had several missteps. I've learned a lot about ethical non-monogamy and the kinds of rules you need to have to stay healthy emotionally and physically. But they aren't the same rules that society told me to have.

Last month I moved in with my wife and our girlfriend. I also have a boyfriend and several play partners. And my partners have other partners. I no longer present as traditionally male, and often present as fairly femme. When I have sex it's the naughty, dirty, kinky kind that gets my partners and I off.

Many people tell me that all of this is doomed to fail. That this type of lifestyle, these kinds of relationships, this kind of gender presentation doesn't work out. That I'll end up alone and unloved.

Well you know what, I've tried it society's way and it didn't work out so well. There are no guarantees in this life. But at least this way, if I fail I'll know I failed on my own terms.

Now, I'm not hurting anyone. I'm not lying to anyone. I'm not manipulating anyone into doing things they don't want to do. I'm not breaking any laws. I'm treating everyone ethically and morally.

However, I may be making a few people uncomfortable by living my life the way I want. But for that have no apologies.

Citi Kittie is Currently on Summer Vacation

There will be no updates for a while yet. The vanilla world has swelled up and crushed this little kitty. Family vacation, looking for a new place to live, moving, living with in-laws, moving into a new place, and now getting ready for my Miss to join my Mistress and I so we can all live together.

But this Kitty will return this fall.

I'll be living with both my Mistress and my Miss, so I'm sure there will be lots to update you on.

And we are all headed to Dark Odyssey Summer Camp, where this kitty will get up to no good, I'm sure.

I hope you're all having a great summer. See you this fall!

New Threesome Position

This kitty loves threesomes. I think it's the optimum number for sex. People tend to couple up once you have more than three. So more often than not a foursome is really 2 twosomes, and a fivesome is 1 twosome and 1 threesome, and so on and etc.

But with a threesome you can really focus on each other, find lots of positions to access each other, and have a lot of fun.

A month or so ago I attended a great class on having threesomes, taught by Reid Mihalko. It covered starting a threesome, emotional considerations, and various positions. I even helped demonstrate some positions. (Unfortunately we were all clothed, but it's a fun way to meet new people.)

Reid teaches a lot of classes and has a great website you might want to check out, at reidmihalko . com.

So recently I was at a play party and discovered a new position for threesomes.

My Mistress had strapped on a cock and was offering free rides. She got warmed up having a hot guy suck her cock. I warmed up her first ridee by giving her a hand job. Actually, the warm up was a threesome as well. Her husband was sitting and she was sitting between his legs. He was holding her from behind while I stood in front of them, kissing and rubbing her.

We were at this amazing private dungeon, in the wet room. The wet room was covered floor to ceiling in tile, had several shower nozzles, a drain in the floor, and a large bench that ran the length of one side of the room.

My Mistress decided to lay down on the bench to let her friend ride her cock. But the bench was all tile, so not that comfy for laying on. I jumped on the bench, leaned my back to the wall, and suggested my Mistress to lean on me for cushion.

I thought she would lean her back against my chest, in a reclining sitting position. Instead, she lay down with her head in my lap. Which meant the back of her head was resting on my cock. It was quite pleasant to have her head resting on me like that.

But then her friend mounted my Mistress's cock and started fucking her. As she did that, all the engery she was fucking into my Mistress was riding through her body and transmitting into my cock. Wow.

I could feel each thrust and movement right on my cock. It wasn't enough to get me off, but it was enough to keep me aroused and wanting more.

Her friend looked so hot, squatting over my Mistress and riding her. She started moaning. She started sweating, she kept going.

She rode her for a while in a sitting up position and then she'd lean down and kiss my Mistress. While they were making out their heads were both in my lap, rolling around over my cock.

Again, wow. My cock was throbbing in my panties as they rolled back and forth over me. Both of them moaning and sweating and thrusting for more. And more. And more. I have no idea how many orgasms they had. From their expressions it seemed like a lot.

It seemed to go on for hours. I knew I wouldn't cum from the stimulation and I think I enjoyed knowing that as well. It was a nice denial. I was helping the two of them get off and knew I wouldn't get release. But I was also absorbing all that sexual energy, sucking it all up.

Finally my Mistress's friend had had enough and she dismounted. She needed her husband to help her as she couldn't really stand. We all lay on the bench cuddling, and recovering, for a while.

What an awesome scene. And awesome people. And an awesome postion. I'll be doing that one again!

Another article I wrote is up at EdenFantasys.com. It's about using safe words in BDSM scenes.

I hope you all enjoy!

http://tinyurl.com/dd2rus

Brunch and a Blow Job

My Mistress likes to cut her friends hair. Not as a kinky thing; she just likes giving make-overs (OK, maybe there is a bit of a domme thing going on there after all).

A while back a friend emailed her and suggested we come over to provide a hair cut for her and a blow job for her boyfriend. Her yummy, yummy boyfriend. He and I had played a bit before, and made out a few times, but never gone as far as a blow job.

My Mistress, my Miss, and I were really tired because we'd be at a play party the night before until 5 AM. We were supposed to arrive at 11 AM, but we were all still fast asleep at 10:30, so we called to say we'd be there about noon.

It's not easy to live the sexyfuntime lifestyle!

The night before I'd been all girlie, but I went to brunch in some cute boy clothes.

Our hostess provided a wonderful breakfast of yummy foods. After we ate my Mistress set up a chair to cut our hostesses hair, sitting so they could watch the action on the couch. My Miss sat at their feet to watch as well.

Her boyfriend and I were next to each other on the couch and finally his girlfriend said, "OK, let's go boys!"

So I sat on his lap and we started making out. He's so cute; I wanted to eat him up! Oh, and I was about t0!

We kissed and kissed and kissed. Hot, deep, passionate, boy-on-boy kisses.

I could feel him getting hard and wanting more through his pants. So I pulled them down and started rubbing his cock. Mmmmm.

Somehow my Mistress was able to concentrate on cutting hair while also watching us. She is a multitasker!

There was a brief pause while my Miss tried to find us some condoms. You'd think with five kinky people in the room we'd have been able to whip one out quicker. But we found their stash, and some flavored lube.

I got on my knees, between his legs, right where I belonged. I lubed up his cock and stroked him slowly. He was hard and throbbing. I looked up; he was smiling down at me, his twitching cock in my hand.

I slipped the condom on and leaned down to suck. His cock. In my mouth. So hard between my lips. And yet, cocks aren't hard like steel; they aren't wood. They are hard with a soft, warm, spongy, muscly, cockishness that is hard to resist.

So hard to keep from the back of my throat.

I slid my mouth down, all the way, feeling his hardness on the back of my throat. Bobbing on his cock, gagging a bit, drooling a bit. My eyes were tearing up.

God, it was so good.

I looked over at my Mistress, my Miss, and our hostess staring at us. I'm not sure which turned on more, the cock rubbing against the top of my throat, or having three hot women watching.

Eventually he leaned down and pulled me off. I sat on the couch and pulled down my pants. He lubed up my cock and knelt between my legs as he stroked me.

I leaned back and moaned as he rubbed my hardness. God it was so wonderful; throbbing between his hands.

I hadn't cum in a few days. God I was so horny. He was smiling up at me, so excited to be jerking me off. Wow.

I started begging to cum. My Mistress teased that I wouldn't be cumming today. My Miss thought it amusing and hot to have me begging in front of our friends.

It was embarrassing.

And so hot.

I'm not exactly sure how I was able to hold off while begging and being stroked, but I managed it. And then she said I could. And then I did.

Over and over and over.

Wow.

So much cum, pumping out onto my belly.

Wow.

So wonderful.

Such good friends.

Such a great brunch.